ah, just another day of disappointing my parents and no one making out with me
how do fourteen year olds get pregnant, I can’t even get a high five from a guy
You haven’t hurt people – you’ve given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it.
why is underwear so expensive like wtf its a sheet of fabric that covers ur dinky doo
when your friend karen suggests that you go to taco bell when you can’t go to taco bell because you’re on an all carb diet
remember when near the end of up all night harry was just totally done with the others fucking with him during his solo
i hate when someone spoils the movie for me
IM STILL FUCKING CRYING OVER THIS VINE
"why do you like floral prints so much" because i’m not a person. secretly i’m just a mass of bees. trying to blend in with humans. unable to let go of my love of flowers
One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.